Ramp Szn
It’s finally May in Chicago - leaves are returning to the trees, swampy yards are sporting a jaunty tulip. And pallid Chicagoans, their canvas bags in tow, are powering through early season farmers' markets in search of spring’s most coveted vegetable: the ramp.
If you’re not familiar with ramps, they look almost identical to a green onion, but they’re different in a few important ways:
* they're available for approximately twenty-six minutes a year;
* they cost one thousand dollars.
If you've made the mistake of googling “what are ramps vegetable?” this is a stressful time for you. You’ve read article after article ex- tolling the ramp’s mind-blowing flavor. You are painfully aware that time is slipping away, and with it, the brief window to secure your ramps. You’ve developed an intense fear of missing out that you’re open to fixing with money. (It should go without saying that you are someone against whom instagram ads are extremely effective.)
But have no fear! Some of us have been where you are now, and we’re happy to give you this foolproof guide to ramp season: 6 ways to get the most out of ramps before they’re gone.
Pickling —
There’s no downside to pickling your ramps - all that massive flavor, available all year round. You buy some pickling spice and mason jars. You boil some vinegar and seal the ramps in. But then you think, hey didn’t that guy from Bon Appétit pickle the wrong way and kill someone? You’ll google it and no, actual- ly that’s not what happened at all. But it still kind of feels like it did? And anyway, just be- cause he didn’t kill anyone doesn’t mean you won’t. The safest thing to do is probably leave them in your fridge door until you move.
Foccacia —
You’ve never really baked bread before but surely you’ll do it perfectly on the first try, so better make three loaves. Just thinking this somehow dirties seventeen pans. The recipe calls for chopping the ramps a specific way but you don’t really understand it so you cut each one radically differently. Maybe one of them will turn out right? The recipe calls for you to carefully press the ramps into the dough but it’s mostly leaves and they mostly sit on top precariously. The bread tastes fine.
Compound Butter —
It’s time to go even simpler. You painstakingly blanch the ramps and then shock them in ice water. They look cold and withered and sad. You blitz them in a food processor with a whole pound of butter. Somehow every dish in your kitchen is filthy and your back hurts and this took three hours. You taste the butter. It’s good! But it is butter after all. Maybe any butter would be good if you add- ed $9 to it. You put the butter in the freezer to preserve it and promptly forget about it for ten months. You spend an hour cleaning your kitchen.
Take a look at yourself —
At this point you may be asking yourself “are ramps overrated?” But it’s important to keep in mind: no, you are the one who is wrong.
Sauteing —
You go back to basics for this one, employ- ing an NYT recipe for cauliflower, peas, and ramps. Easy. Classic. Endorsed by the paper of record. It tastes fine? Did you forget to add the ramps? Maybe the flavor of the ramps is being overpowered by...the cauliflower? That can’t be right.
Let them rot in your fridge —
This underrated method should not be over- looked! Minimal effort, quick cleanup. Perfect ending to another perfect ramp season. Only eleven more months until spring!